Once I started paging through the books, however, I realized the serious subjects wouldn't be as tedious, or depressing, as I had imagined. Take the book on marriage, Gay Marriage: For Better or For Worse? As someone who has been thoroughly baffled, frustrated and outraged by the current debate surrounding so-called gay marriage, I was happily surprised to find this book, authored by Darren Spedale and William Eskridge Jr., not only eschews rhetoric but offers up plenty of real-world ammunition to use against my conservative neighbors as well.

Really, that's how readers should approach Gay Marriage: For Better or For Worse? — as a pleasantly educational tool. Opponents of same-sex marriage love to trot out specious arguments and objections to support their closed-minded beliefs, many of which dumfound us to the point where all we can do is sputter in shock. I’m sure you’ve heard on more than one occasion that old chestnut, "marriage has always been limited to one man and one woman.” Or maybe a friendly (or not-so-friendly) acquaintance has approached you with the slippery slope argument—that allowing same-ex couples to wed, and benefit from those weddings, would open the door to legalized incest, polygamy and even bestial marriages. Once you finish flipping through Gay Marriage: For Better or For Worse? you’ll be armed with a few witty retorts of your own.

Spedale and Eskridge point out, and refute, other commonly heard arguments, too — the most current and common of which is the defense-of-marriage argument (i.e., allowing gays to marry one another will so degrade the institution of marriage that straight couples will avoid it out of disgust, thus bringing an end to the two-parent household, the broader meaning of 'family', and society as a whole).

Responding to that well-honed argument is the backbone of Gay Marriage: For Better or Worse? The current tactic of many politicians and religious officials is to quote statistics from Scandinavia (which has a 16-year history of allowing legally registered partnerships between gay couples) that supposedly reveal the social horrors that would result from recognition of same-sex couples in the U.S. Luckily, Spedale and Eskridge scratch well below the surface of those superficial and spurious claims and reveal the truth about the Scandinavian experience — mainly, that there is no evidence whatsoever to support the claim that gay marriage is or would be responsible for "the destruction of the family" in Scandinavia or anywhere else that chooses to recognize same-sex unions.

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Baby Makes Three

Served up alongside the hot topic of gay marriage at conservative pot lucks these days (or so I would imagine) is the subject of gay parenting. Based on the statistics I’ve seen regarding the increasing number of gay parents, I’m guessing it’s a popular topic at liberal get togethers, too!

So next time you’re invited to a family picnic or other outdoor event, you may want to take along a copy of Brette McWhorter Sember’s Gay & Lesbian Parenting Choices — the perfect gift for that newlywed gay couple down the block or for anyone interested in learning more about the challenges and opportunities facing gay parents-to-be. McWhorter Sember calls on her experience as an attorney to demystify the many options available to gay couples, including helping them come to grips with the alphabet soup that makes up gay adoption (international, domestic agency, state agency, private and facilitator-led, as well as open vs. closed adoptions).

Gay & Lesbian Parenting Choices also tackles the wide variety of assisted family-building choices, such as donor sperm and insemination, egg donors and surrogates, as well as new technologies on the horizon. Information about consent laws, fertility procedures, choosing donors or surrogates, finding fertility clinics that are gay friendly, and advice about how to make sure your family is legally protected also are covered in McWhorter Sember’s knowing and down-to-earth style.

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The End of the Affair

McWhorter Sember brings her experience and down-to-earth writing style to another recently published book that should of interest to quite a few gays and lesbians, The Complete Gay Divorce. Billed as the first to explain the process of ending a gay relationship, McWhorter Sember’s book not only covers how to end a same-sex marriage, civil union or domestic partnership, but explains the rights associated with the division of assets and debts and the payment of spousal and child support. The Complete Gay Divorce also turns a keen eye to the question of whether or not a couple has anything to dissolve if they’re married in a state that eventually backs away from those rights.

Thankfully, McWhorter Sember understands that many gay couples have no formalized union at all and discusses what to do if those relationships end as well.

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Like the books I received in the mail a few days ago, relationships don’t often arrive in pretty, perfect packages. They come in all shapes, sizes, colors and materials. With that in mind, the books reviewed above have something to offer to nearly every gay couple out there, regardless of where there relationship is at and where the couple sees it going next.